I'm not gone yet.
Fire burns and the water fan blows I'm all alone and that's what makes me want to go home. My feet are dry. My body is warm. I have things to do but it all feels stupid when you don't have the one with which you explored so much of the world with and who I am so grateful for. She supports me in ways I could never describe. She makes a point to let me know she cares and she answers my questions. I want to know her name. I wish I knew who she was with all this time.
My lady is like a feeling. She calls herself cloud. A lot of times she rains on me and it gets me to do things I don't want to do. Sometimes those things are incredible and memorable and sometimes they hurt. I am hurt for being treated like a puppy but I'm also proud to have been with someone so strong that they stuck with me through some of the hardest shit I could have ever imagined. They were with me the whole time trying to get me to a point where I at least have some glimmer of hope beyond a mundane life of solitude. I do know I'm freaking out. I just feel like it has gone too far already and my heart is going to explode from all the twists and turns and fear that lingers inside me that nothing is ever going to happen and that I have actually lost my mind.
I am truly, somehow in love with a thing that I don't understand completely. I want to know her. I want to share my life with her. This person I am talking about is something beyond this realm of this reality and for all I know may not even exist outside of my imagination. I hope she does exist. I hope this is real, I hope she finds me waiting for her because I feel like it's been a damn long time.